


put your head on my shoulder

by jaehyn



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Emotional, Flashbacks, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 08:09:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13407045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaehyn/pseuds/jaehyn
Summary: johnny is diagnosed with temporary retrograde amnesia after a car accident & is unable to remember the past memories he has with ten.





	put your head on my shoulder

 

 

ten hummed softly as he dumped the bowl of chopped bananas into the blender. he hummed to the tune of paul anka’s put your head on my shoulder and for some reason the song was in an endless loop in his head.

 

the fruits and vitamins blended smoothly as ten held the button on the blender and continued to hum along to the song that was only playing in his head. he took the lid off of the container and poured the smoothie into two glasses.

he dumped the rest of the smoothie into a steel bottle and closed the lid tightly before setting it in the fridge.

when ten closed to refrigerator door, he felt two warm arms snake around his waist, followed by a soft kiss on the cheek.

ten blushed as he turned around to be face to face with this person.

 

“hi,” johnny beamed.

 

“hi.” ten blushes red as he stares at his beautiful boyfriend.

johnny kisses him softly and he smiles.

 

 

johnny always looked beautiful in the morning. his brown hair fell over his face perfectly and he had such a clear, fresh face that would always glow beautifully even when he’s not in the light. all of his facial features were so beautifully emphasized in the morning.

 

“i heard you singing our song.” johnny says and ten blushes again.

 

——

 

_“you should go up there and sing!” ten’s friend encouraged, grabbing his shoulder and gently shaking it._

_ten shook his head bashfully and said,”no way!!” the people going onstage were all talented and ten didn’t think he was as good as them._

_“chump.” doyoung rolled his eyes. ten folded his arms over his chest and watched the next performer take the small stage. the man grabbed the microphone and he smiled sheepishly as he told the dj what song he wanted._

_“fuck, i forgot ketchup.” jaehyun pouted, looking across the table to see if there were ketchup packets._

_“hey ten, would you be a doll and get me some ketchup?” he smiled fakely._

_“sure.” ten rolled his eyes and stood up. he walked to the counter and waited for an employee to notice him standing there._

_a woman came to the counter and asked,”what would you like, sweetie?”_

_“oh, i just need some ketchup.” ten told her. she gestured toward the condiment bar and ten laughed shyly._

_“ah, sorry,” he blushed._

_“no worries, love.” she smiled._

_ten walked over to the condiment bar and grabbed a handful of ketchup packets._

_“it’s not everyday you see someone do a really good cover of a 50s song.” ten heard someone say behind him._

_“they’re always so overrated and too modernized and people try to completely change it and then they slap the word rendition on it and they think it’s cool.” the person kept talking._

_ten turned around and was met with a tall man with silky brown hair that fell over his face perfectly and he wore thin round framed glasses. he was also wearing an apron which indicated he worked there._

_“i think covers of 50s songs are cute,” ten shrugged, not really sure what to respond with. he didn’t want to seem rude by just blatantly ignoring the stranger._

_“covering a paul anka song is like, god tier of 50s covers.” the boy smiled._

_“especially this song.”_

_ten nodded and he couldn’t help but smile as well._

_“you must really be into old music.” ten said as he held the ketchup packets in his hands carelessly._

_“no, i’m just really into music. i love all types music. every genre has some quality content...even country.” the boy shifted the attention from himself and said,”i’m assuming you’re a university student,”_

_ten nodded,”third year.”_

_“what’s your major?”_

_“graphic design. you’re a university student too, right?”_

_the boy nodded._

_“what’s your major?” ten asked._

_“music theory.” the brown haired boy smiled._

_“i’m johnny by the way,”_

_“i’m ten.”_

_“no way? is that your actual name?”_

_“well...yes and no.”_

 

———

 

ten pouted when johnny took the smaller boy’s legs off of his lap and stood up.

 

“where are you going? the movie hasn’t even ended.” ten watched as his boyfriend grabbed his jacket from the couch on the other side of the room.

 

“i have to run to the post office to get stamps.” johnny said as he pulled on his brown and blue duck boots. ten hated those boots so much, they looked like something a fisherman would wear.

 

“can i come?” ten sat up.

 

“oh no, you’re staying here. there’s too much ice out there that i haven’t put any salt on yet and if you hurt your knee again i’ll probably flip out.” johnny wrapped his scarf around his neck.

“it’ll be really quick, babe.”

 

“okay.” ten stood up to give johnny a kiss. as he kissed him, he felt this odd sense that he couldn’t let him go. he felt something that told him to hold onto him forever. ten thought it was a dramatic feeling since johnny was only going to the post office for stamps and it’ll take him five minutes tops.

 

“i have to go ten,” johnny giggled as ten showered him with kisses.

“i love you, i’ll be right back.” he kissed ten on the forehead and grabbed the keys from the TV stand. they really need to work on placing their important items in better spots.

“oh and when i get home, please remind me to play you the new piece i wrote.”

 

“you wrote a new piece?” ten furrowed his eyebrows.

 

johnny nodded. “it’s another one about you and i know how much you like the half step notes so i included a lot in it. it sounds better on guitar but i’ll show you on piano when get back, okay?”

 

“okay,” the thai boy smiled.

“oh and the roads are really bad out there so please be careful babe.” ten sighed as he watched johnny carefully walk to the car so he wouldn’t slip on any ice.

 

“okay, ten. i promise i’ll be safe.” johnny said before getting in the car and shutting the door.

 

ten shut the front door and sighed before going back to the couch to finish watching his movie.

 

——

 

_“wow we meet again.” ten said as he joined the tall brown haired boy who was laying in the grass while reading a book. ten sat down next to him and he smiled._

_“maybe it’s fate.” johnny says dramatically._

_“yeah, i wish.” ten giggled. “what are you reading?”_

_“the consciousness paradox.” johnny said as he flipped the book over to show ten the cover._

_“you’re into philosophy?” ten raised an eyebrow._

_“no,” johnny shook his head. “i just really like reading books about how corrupt the system is and what purpose we serve as humans and ethics of life and all that.”_

_ten blinked and johnny laughed before saying,”yes i’m into philosophy.”_

_“cute.” ten muttered._

_“cute? just cute?” johnny took off his glasses and set them down on his book._

_ten giggled,”okay fine, i think it’s very sexy that you’re into philosophy and music. i bet every girl here would just die to have sex with you while you tell her how beautiful she is based on some philosophical book you read.”_

_“ok, ok,” johnny chuckled. “but having sex with a woman is definitely out of the picture.”_

_“oh, so you’re asexual?”_

_“well no, i’m bi with a preference for guys mostly. i would date a girl but i wouldn’t have sex with her. i’d date a guy and have sex with him too.” johnny explained._

_“oh my god, do you wanna have sex with me?” ten asked. the question was a joke but after asking it he wanted to crawl into the ground and stay there forever._

_“i mean if you’re up for it-“_

_“i was joking!” ten quickly said. “let’s go on a date.”_

_“right now?” johnny asked._

_“right now.” ten echoed. “c’mon, it won’t be some boring coffee date. we could actually do something fun like go to that really old theatre and watch the opera.”_

_“ten, there are no operas at the theatre. in fact, no one performs at theatre except for really old orchestras. people use it to practice. it’s not exactly a concert venue.” johnny laughed._

_“well then let’s go see a movie.” ten suggested again._

_johnny reached in his bag and grabbed a bag, which consisted of snacks he always brings with him when he reads or studies outside._

_“or we can just stay here.” johnny said._

_“we can talk about any and everything in this grass right now.”_

_“fine then.” ten smiled. he laid beside johnny and said,”it’s a date.”_

———

 

ten watched the end credits of the movie scroll down the screen and he checked the time on his phone. johnny still hasn’t come home yet. could be due to traffic since some of the roads are shut down.

the dark haired boy clicked out of the movie and looked for another one to order. he especially wanted to order a horror movie johnny really liked. as he went to the order screen and hesitated if he should pay extra for HD, he heard a knock at the door.

 

“jesus, why can johnny just never go to the store to get one thing,” ten muttered under his breath as he stood up, assuming johnny probably stopped at a supermarket to get food and needed help opening the door.

 

ten opened the door and he was met with two police officers. his heart immediately sank and his stomach turned at the thought of why they’d be here.

 

“are you chittaphon lee?” the officer with dark hair asked.

 

“y-yes...” ten’s voice was shaking and he wanted to throw up.

 

“we’re here to inform that johnny seo, has been in a car accident on the highway. luckily, he’s okay. he’s in the hospital now and they are doing everything they can to-“

 

“everything they can to what?” ten started to cry.

 

“we found his license in his wallet along with other important belongings,” the officer ignored ten’s question.

 

“look, it’s better to tell you this here.” the other officer began.

“johnny was unconscious when we found him in his car. he seemed to be suffering from severe head trauma and he was rushed to the hospital. at the moment, they’re probably trying their best to keep him from slipping away from us.”

 

and that’s when ten lost his balance and everything went dark.

 

——

 

_“read that part again,” ten said, his head rested on johnny’s stomach while johnny was laying on his back, reading his favorite parts from a book out loud to ten. they were in their favorite spot under a tree laying on cool grass while eating grapes that ten brought._

_“it is not suffering as such that makes someone appreciate love, it is only when suffering pierces our vanity — which happens when we do not blame someone else for our pain — that it awakens a deeper respect for love.” johnny read the sentence again._

_“what do you think that means?” ten asked._

_“i think it means that people will want to be loved or they’ll start to recognize the value of love when they’re given such a difficult situation that cripples them and lowers their self esteem. i also think it has to do with self love, too.” johnny chuckled and said,”god i sound like an idiot. this statement is so simple yet it could be interpreted in different ways. i’ve always had a hard time trying to figure out how this applies to me personally.”_

_“i love hearing you talk like this, john.” ten blushed._

_“i also love being with you. i love you so much.”_

_“oh god, you used the powerful L word!” johnny said dramatically._

_ten giggled and sat up, propping his arms by either side of johnny’s head so that he was hovering over him._

_“i love you too, ten. like, a lot.” johnny said before ten kissed him softly. they didn’t care that people could be watching them. they got lost in each other’s lips, then each other’s tongues._

_“is your roomate home?” ten asked johnny._

_“he’s at work.” johnny informed, lifting his head to kiss ten again. after a few moments, ten pulled away to ask,”can we go to your place?”_

_“yes, of course.”_

——-

 

“he’s okay,” the nurse told a very impatient ten.

 

“i just need to see him, can i please just see him, god damnit!” ten raised his voice, gaining the attention of people who were around him.

 

“mr. lee-“

 

“i’ve been waiting here for 3 fucking hours! i should be able to see my boyfriend! what the fuck have you done to him?!” ten continued.

 

“mr. lee, john is in a coma. he is expected to wake up in a few days if all goes well.” the nurse told ten.

 

if all goes well.

 

“i have to see him,” ten was much calmer now but he was seconds away from sobbing uncontrollably.

 

“he doesn’t have any physical injuries, only some scars and bruises here and there.” the nurse informed ten as he followed her to his room.

 

“okay,” ten nodded. he walked into the room and there was the love of his life. he was sleeping — not exactly — and he looked so peaceful.

 

ten stood beside the bed and the first thing he did was tangle his fingers in the long precious brown hair.

 

“hey beautiful,” ten muttered. he leaned in to kiss his forehead and he suddenly wasn’t as upset as he was before. in fact, he was relieved.

 

——

_“so the kid asks why i never bring up my family like the other teachers do!” johnny exclaimed._

_“what’d you say?” ten poured more wine in his glass as he watched johnny put the dishes in the dishwasher._

_“i told them that i have a lovely boyfriend.” johnny said._

_“most of them were really confused but i explained to them how a man and a man can love each other and how a woman and woman can love each other. i’m just really scared the kids will tell their parents and then they’ll come to the school complaining how the music teacher taught 7 year olds about homosexuality.” he sighed._

_“in your defense they asked you about it so you shouldn’t get in any trouble.” ten assured._

_“plus, your job is to teach, and you taught them.” he shrugged._

_“true.” the taller mumbled._

_“how’s your whole internship working out?”_

_“my boss, lee taeyong is a fucking dick.” ten sighed._

_“but other than that, it’s going well.”_

_“good,” johnny nodded._

_he poured soap in the dishwasher and closed it before starting it._

_he joined ten at the counter and took the glass of wine from him, taking a sip and then twisting his face._

_“this is way too bitter.” he cleared his throat._

_“you’re just way too weak.” ten teasingly smirked. he stood up to go to the couch, leaving the wine on the counter._

_“i’m too weak?” johnny chuckled. “should we test that?” he bit his bottom lip as he grabbed ten’s waist and pulled him on the couch with him, before tickling him on his sides._

_“johnny!” ten cried out, followed by cute giggles that johnny could listen to all day._

_johnny straddled ten and continued to tickle him._

_“please stop!” ten whined. he grabbed johnny’s hands so he could stop and he lifted his head to kiss him._

_“tickling me doesn’t prove your strength.” ten smirked._

——

 

“hold me in your arms, baby.” ten sang softly as he sat beside johnny’s bed and stroked his hair. he’s been at the hospital for two days now and johnny still hasn’t woken up.

he sang paul anka’s ‘put your head on my shoulder’ repeatedly for hours and his voice was hoarse from crying on and off. at first he thought everything would be okay, but when doctors informed him that he should’ve waken up, ten began to worry. he only went home briefly to shower and change his clothes and he spent the entirety of the two days — minus the time he went home — in the hospital.

 

ten’s chin rested on the plastic bar on the side of the bed and he stared at johnny like he would wake up any second.

 

“you’re so precious, johnny.” ten whispered when he finished singing. “so so precious.” he felt his eyes water and face warmed up.

 

“our 3 year anniversary is tomorrow. i was planning on taking you to the diner we met at.” ten sniffed. he didn’t think he had any tears left in him. “but now i can’t.” he wiped his tear stained cheek and leaned over to kiss johnny on the forehead.

it was almost 3am but he wanted to stay up all night since johnny could wake up at any moment. ten continued to sing the song for johnny and his voice cracked with almost every word.

 

——

 

_“yeah well i’m obviously not going to fuck the guy, he just wants to go out for a drink. you can go if you want to monitor us,” johnny began to get agitated._

_“you’re actually making it seem like i’m being some overprotective jerk? he was flirting with you so much, johnny and you’re so fucking oblivious! you’re getting pissed at me trying to make sure you don’t get drunk and do something stupid!” ten shouted._

_“i’m the one who’s angry?” johnny scoffed._

_“okay.” he folded his arms over his chest._

_“i’m angry because recently you’ve been constantly making me feel like shit for having valid emotions. i’m allowed to have negative emotions, johnny. you’re not allowed to judge me for how i feel.”_

_“ten, where is all of this coming from?”_

_“you always want us to be this happy loving perfect couple but not everything has to revolve around happiness. i’m allowed to be upset.”_

_“i never told you that you can’t be-“_

_“the other day you told me i was being dramatic and you basically said i was pathetic for being upset over being yelled at by my boss.” ten explained._

_“i feel like this relationship has been one sided lately and when you’re upset, you’re allowed to be but i’m not.”_

_“you’re over exaggerating, ten,”_

_“see!” ten exclaimed. “this is exactly what i’m fucking talking about!”_

_“ten you’re obviously just saying random shit because you’re mad at me for hanging out with taeil. if anything, i’m more caring than you ever were.”_

_ten scoffed at johnny’s words. at the moment he wanted absolutely nothing to do with johnny._

_“go to fucking hell, johnny. fuck this relationship and fuck you! i never want to see you again.” coincidentally, ten was already near the front door so all he had to do was open it and leave. the door slammed and johnny could hear ten scream something incoherent from outside._

_it was then when johnny regretted every negative thing he said to ten. he regretted every single time he overlooked ten’s emotions and he regretted being such a jerk in the last minute._

_a few days later, ten wasn’t over johnny at all. he wanted to just love him with everything he had and he didn’t care that they had a huge argument. ten set his phone down before he pulled the blanket up to his chin._

_just as he got comfortable, his phone rang and he wondered who the hell would be calling him at 2 in the morning._

_he picked up his phone and of course it was johnny. the person he’s been avoiding for three whole days. the person he wanted to kiss but couldn’t because of the regretful words they exchanged._

_ten hesitated as he answered the phone._

_“hello?”_

_“ten, i can’t stop thinking about you.” johnny said immediately._

_“god i’m such a fucking jerk, i shouldn’t have said all of that. i’m so terrible, i’m so sorry and i know you probably hate me but i want you to know how much i love you. i’m such a fucking jerk, oh my god. i just really hope you can forgive me. i understand if you can’t and i understand if you want to break up, but i just really want to apologize.”_

_ten smiled as he listened to johnny ramble on and on._

_“johnny.” ten said._

_“yes?”_

_“come over.”_

_johnny was over in 10 minutes and very few words were said. but johnny sang ‘put your head on my shoulder’ so sweetly to ten, causing him to fall asleep with a tiny smile on his face._

 

———

 

ten ate a granola bar as he read through the highlighted sections of one of johnny’s favorite books. he read the little notes on the sides of the pages and he smiled at the small doodles. there was even a page where johnny attempted to write ten’s name in thai but he gave up. ten looked over at johnny and he was laying there, almost lifeless as his chest rose and fell rhythmically.

 

ten set down the book and picked up another book of johnny’s. it was his finished musicians book with all of his own versions of popular classical piano pieces. johnny hasn’t played the piano in a while for ten but when he does, it fills ten’s heart with so much joy.

ten flipped through the pages that were filled with notes scattered throughout. many songs had (for ten) written next to the title.

 

he brought johnny’s books to the hospital with him to keep him somewhat occupied. he took off of work and notified his boss of everything and it was surprising that he didn’t make such a huge fuss.

 

it’s the fourth day ten is in this room with johnny, just waiting for him to do anything to show that everything will be okay.

the nurse walked in and smiled at ten as she checked johnny.

ten watched her read the EEG scan and her smiled widened. ten set the book down and looked at her desperately.

 

“johnny appears to be in NREM stage 3 sleep and he’s very conscious which means he could wake at any moment.” she said, turning the monitor so ten could see the waves.

 

“oh my god!” ten exclaimed. he jumped up from his seat and sat at the chair next to the bed.

 

“please, keep the noise minimal because interrupting his sleep can be dangerous at the moment.” she informed.

 

ten nodded and he couldn’t stop smiling. the love of his life will finally wake up.

due to his excitement, ten really had to use the restroom. he didn’t want to miss anything so he got up quickly and basically ran down the hallway to the nearest bathroom. when he shut the bathroom door, he squealed excitedly.

ten couldn’t hold his excitement. he just wanted to see johnny. he finished using the restroom and when he walked back to the room, three doctors and the nurse were standing in the room. he must be awake.

 

———

 

_“wow i can’t believe i used to work at this dump.” johnny chuckled as him and ten walked into the diner. johnny helped ten walk down the two steps._

_“i’m glad i had to get jaehyun some ketchup packets.” ten giggled. him and johnny chose a seat at a booth johnny made sure ten could rest his knee on the other seat of the booth._

_“i just want this fucking knee brace off.” ten rolled his eyes while re-fastening the velcro._

_“ten, you have to keep it on because your knee is obviously still in pain and the doctor said if you try to recover too fast that your knee can dislocate again.” johnny sighed._

_“i just hate the fact that you can’t go doggy style on me during sex. could you imagine me getting on my hands and knees and my fucking knee just pops out of its socket?” ten giggled._

_“oh my god,” johnny laughed._

_“what do you want to order?” he asked._

_“just a burger and fries.” ten shrugged._

_“what was our firsr conversation?” the dark haired boy raised a brow._

_“we talked about the dude covering the song. you don’t remember? oh my god, i was so pretentious back then.”_

_“it was sexy.” ten smiled._

_“then we had our first date on campus eating cheap snacks and telling our life stories.”_

_“yeah, that was me being a pretentious dick part 2 while you were and still are this undeserving angel. i don’t understand how you put up with all of my shit.”_

_“because i love you, silly.”_

 

——

 

“he seems to have temporary retrograde amnesia. he doesn’t remember any autobiographical information about his life. this can last from a day to years. you really just have to be patient and give him information in bits and pieces. sort of like, spoon feed it to him.” the doctor explained to ten.

 

“does he know who i am?” ten looked at johnny as he was eating a cup of pudding.

 

“since there was a lot of damage done to the hippocampus, i’m afraid not. you can help him recognize who you are but he’ll most likely be afraid going home with you so don’t rush into anything. you should remain calmed and show nothing but patience and calmness towards him. he will still have the same interests he’s had but he won’t know what he did with those interests. just be very careful with him when you take him home tomorrow.”

 

ten nodded at the instructions and he didn’t know how he’d handle this situation.

 

“hey,” ten smiled at johnny.

 

“you’re the guy they keep talking to me about? you’re taking me to my house tomorrow?” johnny asked, furrowing his eyebrows and setting his pudding down.

 

“yup, i’m ten.”

 

“i don’t understand why i’m getting sent home with a stranger.” johnny looked at the nurse.

 

“this is your friend, johnny.” the nurse said.

 

“boyfriend.” ten corrected. the nurse gave him a ‘slow-down’ look.

 

“oh.” was all johnny said. “this amnesia stuff must be pretty serious, huh?” he chuckled.

 

“very.” ten nodded as he sat beside johnny.

he picked up johnny’s music book and handed it to him.

 

“what’s this?” johnny asked. he opened the book and flipped through the pages.

he stopped a few times to read over the music and then he kept going.

“this music has a lot of accidentals...” johnny said.

 

“the songs you made for me are full of sharps and flats because i really like the black piano keys.” ten explained to him.

 

“i made these?”

 

ten nodded.

 

“why are you called ten, anyway?”

 

ten giggled.

“my thai name is chittaphon but i really like the nickname ten because it’s my favorite number and chittaphon has 10 letters in it.”

 

“that’s kind of deep.” johnny chuckled.

he looked up at the TV that was displayed on the wall and then looked back at ten.

 

“so like, what happened to me?”

 

“you got into a car accident on your way home from the post office.” ten told him.

“now we have no car so uber drivers will be our friends for the next few months.”

 

“sounds fun. do i have any parents? do they know?”

 

“your parents live in south korea but i told them everything. they’re such kind, sweet people.”

 

“all the way in south korea? damn.” johnny said.

 

the next day, ten helped johnny into the back of the uber. they first stopped at a pharmacy to pick up johnny’s medicine and ten bought more vitamins for him. when they got home, johnny asked more questions than a toddler.

 

“we really live here?” johnny asked, looking around the house.

 

“yup. it’s a bit of a mess, though.” ten said, moving things out of the way.

 

johnny sat at the piano by the window and opened the book that was on the stand.

he started playing the music for a few seconds then stopped.

 

“i’m gonna make some dinner, wanna help?” ten asked.

 

“yeah, sure. whatcha making?”

 

“cheese ravilois and french fries. it’s a weird combination but it’s one of your favorites.” ten walked into the kitchen.

 

“do we always cook dinner together?” johnny asked.

 

ten nodded. he watched johnny get up and follow him to the kitchen. the brown haired boy looked around and opened a few drawers, looking inside of them and then shutting them. curiosity was cute on johnny.

 

“you know, i probably wouldn’t know what to do with myself if you weren’t awake by now. i’ve been wanting to tell you i love you for four days and now that you’re here, i don’t know if this will mean anything to you, but i love you a lot. you’re my everything, okay?”

 

johnny stared at ten and he was confused for a moment. he was trying his best to try to remember something about ten but nothing came up. he couldn’t recall anything. there was a stranger standing in front of him.

 

“ten, i can’t love someone i barely know.” johnny responded. he noticed ten’s eyes well up and seeing the short dark haired teary eyed boy in front of him was heartbreaking.

 

ten grew frustrated as he took out a can of tomato sauce. he slammed it on the counter, wanting to just break down and cry right then and there but couldn’t. he had to keep a calm demeanor for johnny.

 

“the pots are in this cabinet, right?” asked johnny as he walked over to the counter by the oven.

 

“yes, johnny. the pots are under the cabinet. that’s where you wanted them to be because you said it’ll be easier to cook on the stove if the pots are right by it. this is your house, too why can’t you just fucking remember anything? why can’t you remember me? we’ve been together for three fucking years, johnny. you know me better than i know myself. we do everything together, we’ve probably fucked on every surface in this house and you can’t remember a single fucking thing.” ten didn’t realize he was on the floor sitting by johnny’s feet crying. he couldn’t stay positive and hopeful and it hasn’t even been a day with johnny home and ten has already had a breakdown. johnny had no idea what to do. he could only think of meeting him in the hospital, that’s the first memory he has formed of ten since waking up.

 

“ten, please just give me some time.” johnny sighed.

“i’m trying to remember who you are. i just...need some time. i’m trying my best, okay?”

he sat on the floor next to ten and held the crying boy in his arms.

 

“you’re pretty theatrical, ten. i like it a lot.” johnny joked. ten giggled as he wiped his eyes and said,”shut up.”

 

they ended up not making dinner and after hours of sitting on the kitchen floor while ten explained his favorite memories with johnny, they ordered pizza.

 

——

 

_“all we need is furniture.” johnny said, setting the last of his bags on the living room floor._

_it was 11pm and they finished moving all of their stuff in their new house. ten was tired so the first thing he did was pile blankets on the floor and plug his laptop in to charge. he surrounded himself with all of his pillows and stuffed animals for comfort._

_“come watch a movie with me.” ten patted the empty spot for johnny._

_“when the furniture comes in are you really going to put all of those animals on our bed?” johnny chuckled as he laid down next to ten._

_“yeah probably.” ten shrugged._

_“okay.” johnny smiled._

_“what?” ten whined. “you’re silently judging me, i can tell.”_

_“nothing, just find a movie, dummy.” johnny pulled ten close to him and kissed him sloppily on the cheek._

_“gross!” ten wiped johnny’s spit from his cheek. “should we watch a musical? living in chicago now really gives me a city based musical vibe.”_

_“i actually wanted to watch how to eat fried worms.” johnny said._

_“shut up! you know i hate that movie, loser!”_

_“would you rather watch a boring cliche overrated musical or a cinematic masterpiece with a beautiful message about the values of life?” johnny asked, making ten shove his cheek._

_“you’re such a loser, johnny.” ten giggled._

 

——

 

“this is where we first met.” ten held johnny’s hand as they walked into the diner.

“last time we were here, my knee was broken.”

 

“how’d you break it?” johnny asked.

 

“i’ve always had knee problems and one day i fell while stepping down from a curb and my knee dislocated. people nearby helped me and you were really mad because you wanted to be the first person to help but you were at work.” ten explained. he handed johnny a menu.

 

“sounds really painful.” johnny twisted his face.

 

“it was.”

 

they sat awkwardly until a waitress came to the table and took their orders. johnny hesitantly ordered a burger and fries because ten did but he ordered orange cream soda while ten ordered a coke.

 

“where were we when we met?” johnny questioned.

 

“well,” ten started. “you worked here and it was during an open mic night. my friend wanted me to get him ketchup packets so i went to the condiment bar right over there,” ten pointed to the condiment bar by the front counter.

“and you started talking to me about the dude covering our song,”

 

“our song?” the older furrowed his eyebrows.

 

“yes. paul anka’s ‘put your head on my shoulders’. it became our song like months into dating each other. you were saying how you think covering paul anka is god tier and you even ranted how people these days who cover 50s songs butcher it really bad. you were really passionate about it. i found it so cute.”

 

johnny smiled and tried to imagine everything ten told him. he couldn’t picture it in his head but he tried to make something up.

 

“you consider your college self pretentious, you complained about it all the time.” ten giggled.

 

“oh god, i probably was.” johnny chuckled.

“i wish i could remember all these things. we seem really fun together.”

 

“we are.” ten smiled.

 

“your smile is really beautiful, ten.”

 

———

 

_“why are you staring at me?” ten blushed, reaching for his shirt on the floor._

_“your post sex face is so cute. you look so...fucked out.” johnny flipped ten over so that he was on his back and kissed him. ten kissed back for a moment but playfully pushed johnny off. his brown hair was ruffled up on his head and he was sweating while breathing heavily and this turned ten on a lot._

_ten grabbed his shirt and sat up to pull it on. when he climbed out of the bed, he lost his balance a bit. johnny chuckled as he watched ten struggle to put on his boxers._

_“what’s so funny? how about you try being a bottom to some 9,000 incher.” ten rolled his eyes._

_johnny felt prideful and he tossed ten his shorts from the floor before going to the bathroom to brush his teeth._

_ten sat on the edge of the bed and plugged his phone in._

_johnny hummed ‘put your head on my shoulder’ while he straightened up the bathroom a bit. he walked into the room and climbed into the bed singing along quietly to the song in his head._

_“so is that like...our song?” ten smiled goofily. “i only think of you when i have it stuck in my head. if it weren’t for you, i wouldn’t have even known that song.” he rested his head on his pillow and he was smiling drunkly while staring at his boyfriend._

_“actually, if it weren’t for that kid singing it at my old job, you wouldn’t have known it.” johnny corrected._

_“you’re right.”_

_“i know.” johnny kissed ten on the cheek._

_“but yes, it’s our song.” he turned off the light and pulled ten close to him. he wrapped his arms around the thai boy’s waist and kissed his shoulder._

_“you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” johnny whispered in ten’s ear. he pulled ten as close to him as he could, ripping soft giggles from the younger._

_“i want to marry you.” ten said. “we could get a dog, and maybe a kitten and treat them how rich celebrities treat their dogs. we can spoil them like they’re our children.” he was just rambling tiredly about a perfect future and johnny nodded chuckled at everything ten said, asking questions here and there and adding onto what he wants to see in their future together._

_“do you think we’ll get married? ten asked as he twisted the accessorized ring on johnny’s finger._

_“unless i vanish off the face of the earth one day, i’m pretty sure we’re getting married.” johnny’s voice was so soft in ten’s ear at the moment. his voice was the epitome of silk._

_“good.”_

_“i can’t wait to grow old with you.”_

———

 

“do you remember this?” ten showed johnny a photo of them sitting at a picnic table, holding ice cream and smiling widely.

 

johnny shook his head. “there are no piercings in your ears in this photo, though. you look cute.”

 

“that’s the day you chipped your tooth because you fell from a tree that we climbed and hit your mouth on this table.” ten giggled.

“you got it fixed the week after but your lisp was even worse and it was really cute.”

 

“you’re saying my lisp isn’t bad now?” johnny chuckled.

 

“i love your lisp, shush.” ten nudged johnny in the shoulder.

“anyway, i’m glad some of your memory is coming back but none of me are in that noggin of yours.” he sighed.

 

johnny twisted the ring on his finger and nodded, agreeing with ten. he didn’t know why he could name every student in his classes at his job but he couldn’t name a favorite memory of him and ten. everything was coming back to him but there was nothing of ten.

 

“i called in for work earlier and they said they’re having a had time trying to find a temporary replacement that the kids like. apparently they miss me a lot.” johnny slumped back in the couch and winced a bit since he was still in some pain from the accident.

 

“aww,” ten cooed. “you miss work, don’t you?”

 

johnny nodded. “it’s weird because when i first started working there i didn’t think i’d like it since the kids seemed so stuck up. turns out their parents are and they’re just sending their kids to an expensive performing arts school so they can work vicariously through them.”

 

ten rested his head on johnny’s shoulder and clicked through channels as he listened to johnny talk about his job.

“just can’t wait to go back to work.” johnny huffed.

“i’m so tempted to just go there tomorrow morning and start working.”

 

“johnny, your doctor said you can’t go back to work for 5 weeks. you just have to push through two more weeks and hopefully you’re cleared and good to go.” ten kissed johnny on the cheek.

 

“yeah but i feel like someone just punched every single bone of my body a million times. i don’t think i’ll be able to work in two weeks if i’m sore like this.”

 

“you didn’t seem sore last night.” ten smirked.

 

“i was high on painkillers, babe.”

 

————

 

_“surprise!”_

_ten dropped his bags and gasped, lifting his foot immediately after the bag of candles hit his toe._

_“ouch, shit,” ten muttered, picking up the bags and completely ignoring his group of friends standing in the living room._

_they all looked at each other, exchanging looks that wondered if they should continue with the party._

_“happy birthday! you’re 21!” johnny exclaimed, wrapping his arms around ten and engulfing him in a big bear hug._

_“johnny, just wait.” ten pushed the brown haired boy off of him as he finished picking up the jars of candles that fell out of the bag._

_the party goers were not only confused, but they were extremely concerned. it felt like they were at a friend’s house witnessing their friend and their friend’s parent arguing._

_johnny turned around to see all of him and ten’s friends’ confused looks._

_“ten what’s wrong?” johnny whispered._

_ten looked at his friends and then looked at johnny._

_“i just lost my fucking job.”_

_“oh god,” johnny muttered._

_“um, we’ll be right back you guys can uh, start the party without us for a sec.” he informed as he took the bags from ten and helped him upstairs._

_when they got to their room, ten plopped down on the bed and let the tears he’s been holding in for hours spill out._

_“ten, how did this happen?” johnny sat next to his crying boyfriend and tried to comfort him by rubbing small circles on his back._

_“i’ve been putting off so many new projects that were due by a specific time and i just procrastinated and let them pile up in my computer and when taeyong asked to see my work so far, i didn’t have anything and i cried in his office for like a whole 30 minutes and he didn’t care, he just kept yelling at me and said i wasn’t a true graphic designer and i quit.” ten explained. he was able to explain without crying but after remembering everything that took place, he couldn’t stop crying._

_johnny sighed and pulled ten close to him, pulling his head to his chest and rocking him back and forth gently._

_“how are we going to pay bills, johnny? we’re barely able to finish paying off last month’s electric bill. i can’t believe i did the dumbest thing ever.”_

_“shhh, i’ll take care of it, okay? i’ll start playing piano at the bar and i should be able to make enough to finish paying last month’s bill, okay?”_

_ten nodded which made him rub his cheek in the tears he had soaked part of johnny’s shirt with._

_“we can talk about everything tonight after the party but right now, i really just want you to have fun. i want to see that beautiful smile of yours.” johnny lifted ten’s chin and wiped the tears off of his cheek._

_“but if you want, i can ask everyone to leave if you don’t want to see anyone.”_

_“no, it’s okay.” ten flashed a toothless smile and leaned over to kiss johnny on the cheek._

_he doesn’t know what he’d do without him._

———

 

“ten, when i looked at you this morning, i saw the beautiful boy i met three years ago in a diner full of university kids during an open mic night. i was able to remember the kid who walked on the stage and sang what would become our song. just as i was admiring the song, i saw someone so fucking beautiful and my number one mission at the moment was to get his attention. so i did and i remember telling you how i amazed i was with the song. you obviously were only talking to me because you didn’t want to ignore me but the second you opened your mouth and smiled, i knew you were going to be the person i’d fall in love with. and i did fall in love with you.” johnny explained, looking into ten’s dark brown eyes that were glossed over with a wall of tears. scooted closer to ten and exhaled slowly.

 

“spending our days under a tree reading from philosophy books were my favorite days because i fell in love with you at every single moment. when we bought a house together i was afraid that we would breakup and venture off into our own ways but we’ve stuck by each other so well and i’m starting to think we’re soulmates. oh my god, ten we were actually meant to be. the night you talked about marrying me and getting a dog and a kitten was when i realized that we’re definitely going to stay together and grow old together,” he held ten’s hands and felt himself getting more emotional as he spoke. ten was listening intently and he knew johnny regained his memory that morning because his whole demeanor was different. it was like he was an old friend that ten reunited with.

 

“i remember everything now, ten. i remember when you sang our song to me when i was crying after my grandmother passed away you made me feel safe. the warmness and safety she gave me, i felt it through you, ten. we’re soulmates joined together by a paul anka song that reminded us how much we love one another. you know i hate cliche things that straight couples overdo so i’m just going to ask you while we’re here in bed, about to fall asleep.” johnny slid his hand under the blanket to grab a tiny box from his sweatpants pocket.

 

“johnny,” ten squeaked out before crying.

he waited for johnny to ask the powerful question. that one question which was the first step to full commitment.

 

“will you marry me, chittaphon?” johnny opened the box revealing a silver ring.

 

“yes,” ten whispered. “yes, i’ll marry you, johnny. oh my...” the dark haired boy burst into tears again. he was crying like a toddler and it was due to the mixture of emotions he was feeling.

 

“aw, ten,” johnny cooed, wrapping his arms around his new fiancée. he pulled ten to his chest and kissed him on the head.

 

“should we watch how to eat fried worms?” johnny asked, making ten laugh in his chest. a muffled,”shut up.” made johnny smile and held ten tightly. he’s never letting go of the most important person in his life or the memories they share.

 

——

**Author's Note:**

> yeah WOW this obviously sucks and is full of typos n i hate how it's written but im still uploading it :oooo woahh okay


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